Happy National Left Hander’s Day!

August 13 is National Left Hander’s Day, which is basically the one day a year society admits, “Oh yeah… you exist.”

Being left-handed is like living in a parallel universe where everything is just slightly out to get you. Spiral notebooks? Wrist torture devices. Three-ring binders? Oh, you like writing on the back page? Good luck with that. Scissors? Sure, if you enjoy cutting in a zigzag that looks like you were drunk. And don’t get me started on potato peelers.

The tech world isn’t much better. The computer mouse is parked firmly on the right, ATM card slots are over there too, and camera shutter buttons make you contort like you’re doing left-handed yoga. Musical instruments? Unless you’re ready to order a special “lefty” guitar or flip the strings like Jimi Hendrix, you’re just strumming your way into frustration.

And then there’s the English language, which has been throwing shade at lefties for centuries. “Left out.” “Left behind.” “Everyone left.” And “leftovers”, aka the cold, sad food nobody wanted the first time. Meanwhile “right” means correct, moral, and approved by your grandma.

But here’s the thing: lefties have been crushing it anyway. Da Vinci painted masterpieces. Paul McCartney wrote Yesterday. Oprah built an empire. And all of them did it while living in a right-handed world with coffee mugs designed backwards.

So today, pour one out for the southpaws. Just… be careful. That coffee pot is made for righties, and you’ll probably spill it.

Happy National Left Hander’s Day!

Doug O’Brien